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Sell your soul

I just re-read the poem I wrote for the prompt 'sell your soul'. There was actually only one word in my eyes that disturbed the flow, a small little 'me' in the first line. Now I abolished it, it reads more fluently. But I'm uncertain with the verses. Any suggestions?

a red dress and long black hairCollapse )

Hope this is okay...

 Hello; I'm new to this community and have come here by suggestions of the moderator. :)

This is the first draft of a poem that I have just completed, and I want to know how it reads and what others think of it before I make any revisions to it. Any constructive criticism (as long as it isn't presented rudely, like 'LOL I didn't like this and this LOLOL') is much welcome!

De ProfundisCollapse )


Re-written Fall Leaves

Rewritten from prompt #423.

Disclaimer: I am a married straight woman, but I support gay rights quite firmly. On Tuesday in California there was a proposition that would change our constitution as regards the definition of marriage. It passed, now in California marriage is only between men and women.

This piece is just about one of the male couples in my head, and they were reminiscing over their "marriage" (which was just one asking the other to be his lifelong mate, there was no legal marriage). I've now expanded it to include my disappointment over the ban on gay marriages in California.

I'm putting that out there so you can skip this entry if you choose, I know everyone doesn't share my viewpoints. :)

For the record, nothing graphic in here except for one swear word.

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crime scene contest

Hi! I've migrated from [info]all_unwritten of course. A lot of stuff I write is either inspired by all_unwritten or other prompty forums that usually have time frames that expire before I'm done revising, so this is a great idea. :) Anyway, I am entering this Halloween type writing contest with a pretty specific inpiration you have to follow, which I learend about thru another forum, and this is about my final revision before I send it off. Any and all c/c is appreciated, especially grammarish mistakes. Thanks!

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Writing Project - part 2

Hi All -

This is the second installment of my writing project. I'd previously posted this as sakira_ka .
If you want to read part 1, you can find it in my dedicated writing blog.

Let me know if you want to read more. It'll encourage me to write more. :)

Jul. 24th, 2008

Hi All -

This wasn't prompted by an All_Unwritten prompt, but I wanted to share it and get some general feedback.  This is just the first part of what I hope to be a novel.

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Let me know if you want to read more. It'll encourage me to write more. :)
 Hey! First post here. This isn't inspired by a prompt, sadly, but it is something that I've been working very hard on. So, I hope that I get good comments/criticism :)! 

Ghost story

The prompt was "Harvest Moon" and it made me think of ghost stories. The ficlet has nothing to do with the prompt except that, since I had to search for "harvest moon" in a dictionary.

I can't post the original draft because this is it. In my opinion, it's just too long to post at all_unwritten. Besides, after realizing the length problem I have edited it a few times, so technically it's an "edited version" of the original, if one wants to start nitpicking. It's not terribly long now, though, but if I decide to use any part of it in any other story it'll gain length.

And sorry for anyone living in Bethwell, Maine. I googled that name and don't actually even know where Maine is, much less a town called Bethwell. -__-' And everything except Bloody Mary was made up by me, so there shouldn't be anything in the dark.

No little brothers were harmed during the short writing process of this ficlet. ;D


Night by the Foggy River

First time posting here... A few days back, the prompt was "disappeared into the night". The idea I had found me writing a lot more than I had first expected and soon I knew it would be much too big to post in one piece on the regular community so I thought I'd post it here. It's unedited and it took me the whole day at work considering I was balancing a heavy workload with writing my own self-evaluation haha So anyway, here it is, hope you enjoy.

More David

The last time I posted I wondered if it was ok to make new entries for these sequels, and since I didn't get an answer I decided to just make a new one anyway ;)

This is that first entry, and this entry is a continuation of the story. It is re-written (and greatly augmented) from here.

part twoCollapse )